Does anyone have water wings I can borrow??

I need help!! I need to borrow someones arms, legs and core for tomorrow. I promise I will not do too much damage...please, someone, help me!!

...I have considered showing up to swim practice with "water wings"

Fact is that I look like a "pretty" swimmer above water, but I am useless under water. Yes, that is right, I pull NOTHING!! zip zadda...nothing!! So, my mission before I head to France is to milk my masters sessions and instructors knowledge for advice and help regarding my swimming "pull". It has been one week and I almost drowned in the pool this morning!!

You know those broad shoulders and muslces swimmers have?? Not to mention their amazing upper body flexibility?? (I am married to one and will be eternally jealous!) well, I don't have them...and it sucks!! So after one week of focusing on "pulling" I am down right exhausted, a lot slower than I started out a week ago and just plain beat up.

So I tried the "merci" card this morning with Wolfgang. It went something like this:

Erin: My arms hurt, I swim lopsided and my right side hurts.

Wolfgang: hmmm, it shouldn't hurt and you should be stretching.

Erin: I did stretch yesterday and (this is condensed) it really isn't an "injury" pain.

Wolfgang: Well then, that is fine. ( aka suck it up!!) but you should stretch more (surprise!!)..and a bunch of other stuff indicating what I need to work on..

Erin (in the nicest, pleading voice I can do): I don't know...should I do Masters tomorrow? it will be three days in a row. (aka...please, please don't make me swim tomorrow!!)

Wolfgang: Yes, why not??

Erin: ok...(in head...Sh#t, Sh*t, Sh!t!!!...I can't feel my arms today, how the heck am I going to get through another early morning masters when my arms are like overcooked noodles??!!!)...

I have resolved to show up at practice with the "most" help I can use. Don't hear me wrong, I always show up with the "goods"; pull bouy, fins, paddles etc...but I never use them until I am told...not tomorrow!! I am going for a full fledged "CHEAT" practice!

Wish me luck!! ...they might want to put a life gaurd on deck for Masters tommorrow morning!