Cookie Monster!

I have a problem; I have a Ward cookie problem. There, I have said it! Isn’t this the first step of a 12 step program? Now, there is nothing wrong with eating cookies, especially when you work out a lot and need the energy. There is a problem when you are allergic to half the stuff in the cookie, have an hour time frame before eating the cookie and hitting the toilet, yet you go back for more every week…sometimes twice a week! (a classic sign of addiction, I plan my rides so that Ward is the last stop and I am finished within an hour to endure the consequences!) And trust me, these cookies are not easy to get to (unless you drive); 16 miles of climbing with one hell-mile at the end.

I swear they lace the cookies at Ward with a meth/cocaine/ecstasy mix….

So, today I had “F*&king cookies” running through my head as I climbed to Ward. Why was I cursing? Why was I not enjoying my ride? I was beat down tired! Yet I would not turn around because I have an addiction…damn cookies are going to kill me!!

Oh, and my husband has the same addiction yet hides it cleverly. He always tells me “don’t bring me down a cookie” and because I never know when I will be back up the mountain next I stock up (like 2-3 of the suckers) and low and behold they disappear!! So, I have had to hide my cookie stash!! How sad is that? My husband is a closet cookie junkie!

Alright, enough with the cookie talk. Today marked my last long ride before heading to France. I had to mix up my schedule a bit since I will be “in transition” for a week and ended up piling 2 weeks’ worth of “long workouts” into 8 days. So, needless to say my body is a little “pooped”; but I have 3 days until recovery week, so I will survive! I am a very lucky lady though; I have some great friends who sometimes “jump onto” my long ride in shifts.

Since Oceanside, I train mostly by myself because I had a lot of work to do to re-establish my HR zones. But, once and a while as schedules allow, I have the opportunity to do my long rides with some pretty amazing people! Today was one of them, and trust me, I needed the company to survive it!

Today started out with a solo warm-up early in the morning and then meeting up with Megan, Lara Jon and the hubby (yes, he was up early riding!). Lara is a BEAST…think ex-pro cyclist who can spin +100 RPM’s! I was getting dizzy watching her go. We headed out for some time on the flats before picking Kendra up at Amante (we lost the men before the climb). Kendra is a “Doctor in Training” (residency) and had just gotten off an all-night shift ready to roll! She is amazing, and the stories she shares are a lot of fun! How she does it bewilders me, but I know that I want her to be my doctor when she is finished!

I could tell as we headed into the hills that this would not be pretty. I simply was not recovered and my legs/HR was telling me so. I hung on till the turnoff to Ward from Left Hand Canyon and then was sucking wind until the turn to go over the backside of Lee Hill. Then always-smiling Laura says in a cheery voice “Ok gals, I am done, I might bonk!” and heads over the backside of Lee Hill (aka mother of all climbs!! Suicide if you are tired). That did my in! I was torn between awe of this woman who was about to bonk and was going to do a suicide climb, my sky-high HR and red spots in the eyes, my legs wanting to fall off, doubt in my mind and tears in my eyes when Megan told me to stop. So, I stopped wobbly legs and all.

Megan serves as the “head/brains/smarts” I lose when I do long rides. I learn something new and beneficial from her every time I ride with her. Today the lesson was “It’s ok to stop and rest.” Between the tears and fatigue this is what transpired:

Me: “I am so tired! I don’t know if this is smart for me to keep going”

Megan:” Let your HR come down, eat and drink, relax”

Me:”It’s just a lot this week”

Megan: “How’s your HR?”

Me:”Coming down”

Megan:”Well, test it out, see if it spikes again and if it does, go back. What time did you think you would be finished the ride at?”

Me:” By 12:30-1 but it doesn’t matter really”

Megan:” Fine, relax, take your time, you are not on a schedule, just think you have all day to do this climb”

Me:”ok”

So we started up again and I found my happy place and using the experience as mental trial for what awaits me in the French Alpe’s on July 4th (3 mountain passes in one day, over 15000 ft of climbing) till mile 10 of the climb and Megan had to turn back. She left me with her last piece of turkey jerky and some words that would not leave my mind till the end of the climb. She said “It’s not easy, but you are Ironwoman!” With that came clarification; I do this so that I can learn something new about myself and dig to the next level of strength/perseverance that I never knew I had. I discover strength in myself every time I do something I didn’t think I could.

So, I kept climbing and at the beginning of the final hell-mile to Ward, I caught Kendra (Kendra kept going after our first stop) and yet again did I gain perspective. Here is a woman who is mentally exhausted, saves and loses lived on a daily basis, and uses rides like this/swims/runs to help her gain the strength and perspective to get through her residency! So, I guess what I am getting to is that everyone has a way to reach their goals, and overcome their doubts, but it isn’t without blood/sweat/tears. Success as well as failure (which you learn from, hopefully!) comes from hard work, and it isn’t always an easy ride (no pun intended!).

I made that final mile to Ward and it was hard, it was oh sooo hard….but I didn’t stop; that is the last memory of riding in the mountains of Boulder that I will have until August 14th and it is more than enough….. along with those cookies I got at the top.

Happy Riding!

Expectations...

I have the cue cards and “French for Dummies” book and progress is being made!! (I forgot to mention I have a live-in tutor who I happen to be married to). My mother-in-law and I have been having daily meetings over skype so I can work on pronouncing words…I think I am much better at it after a glass of wine, LOL! As of now I will be able to feed myself and ask for help if I have troubles with the bike in France. So I am not at total loss…which brings me to the point of this post. It is ok to not be the “best” at something.

Today I raced the Bolder Boulder with my hubby. It has been a tradition for the past 3 years and usually I end up running after being smashed from a long weekend of training; this weekend was no different. With over 5 hours of bike climbing in my legs and +2 hr long run, I was not feeling as “chipper” as I should have; even after an ice bath! I really wasn’t even sure if I wanted to run “fast” today and was leaning towards running with Gregory and pacing him instead of “embracing the pain.” But then I had to question myself, was I scared the “pain”, or something else. I experience pain during every workout, every interval, so it is nothing new to me; truthfully, I did not want to risk another “bad” race that really is not “bad” but what I consider sub-par because I set high expectations for myself. How does one deal with this? Well, today I changed my expectations:

A. I need to enjoy the race; if there is no smile, there will be no speed. This is Bolder Boulder!! One of the world’s largest and most entertaining 10km races, it SHOULD be fun.

B. I need to not worry about the next mile, next minute, next second; be in the moment.

C. Look at HR, not time! I had a specific goal for this race, and that was to get a max HR for Wolfgang to base my run interval training off of. So get that HR high and keep it high!

D. Be realistic!! I cannot expect to be a “fast” runner when I am a long distance triathlete coming off a long training weekend (unless you are Chrissie Wellington..that girl ROCKED it today, what an amazing woman!) So, take it with a grain of salt.

E. Keep in mind that this is less than an hour of my life, judging myself and worth on a race is silly.

So I did all of this and more. I chased a man in a pink tutu and laughed. An 8 year passed me like I was standing still and kicked my butt! I told my heavy legs that they “were going to make it” and they listened! I pulled off sub-7 min miles which I thought would have been impossible. I greeted the best husband in the world at the finish with a smile and the first thing we asked each other is “did you have fun” not “what was your time”. And we both had a blast!

I would love to say that I do better at things when I “don’t care” but that is not true because I do care! I am just finding ways to put it into perspective and keep relaxed so that I don’t “sabotage” my own success. I am sure a lot of athletes go through this and everyone has a different way of coping. So I guess this is mine, for this race….

Another cool thing about this Bolder Boulder is that Gregory and I had the same bib numbers but were in different waves. Very cool!!

After the race I had a chance to meet and catch up with some fellow Brooks runner and Justin from Justin’s Nut Butter. I have to hand it to the Bolder Boulder race organizers on the goodie bags! It is amazing how much time must go into packing the bags, handing then out (which is very efficient) and the goodness they contain. Normally I cannot eat any post-race food due to my allergies, but not today!! What a great spread!
Cheers till next year!!

Man in the Arena

One week down; I am still alive, a little tired, but alive. This marks the first “big” training week for my La Marmotte/Ironman build. Looking at Sat and Sunday’s prescribed workouts made me a little nervous as it has been a while since I have done back to back “really long” days. But I fared extremely well. It’s very easy for me to find my “groove” when it comes to the distance training (> ½ Ironman distance) as my body prefers the long, steady stuff. So I was all smiles; even when it got tough because I know these “miles” will count and I am fortunate to be physically able to do what I do.

Another exciting thing for me this weekend was working out my “nutrition” plan. Megan, Neil and I were finally able to put the “big picture” together regarding my food allergies, intolerances, calorie needs etc.. and have come up with a plan. It has been going smoothly and I am feeling really good! Turns out I have a turbo-charged metabolism that requires a lot of calories for me to stay in bed and do nothing…so imagine what happens when you incorporate Ironman training. Yup, I am a eating machine! Life is good.

Just a quick side-note for those with gluten intolerance and really don’t like the prepackaged gluten-free breads. Pamela’s makes a great gluten free baking mix that can be used for cookies, pancakes, breads etc… it’s awesome! And, if you have an egg allergy, there are egg-substitutes composed of potato starch. Even if you don’t have gluten intolerance, Pamela’s products are awesome!

On the non workout/eating side of things, my quest to learn French in …2 weeks, no three, it’s got to be three!! S*&t, Sh*&, Sh*&^….this is not happening as I planned, nor would like. So I am a competitive person, and I like to be good at things; I have accepted that I will NEVER be a good swimmer, but c’mon, French can’t be that bad. Just because I failed it once in grade 6 doesn’t mean I am doomed…right? Honestly, I am putting the effort in, but struggling; heck, I struggle with anything that does not come naturally to me. How the hell did I get a PhD in chemistry, but spell check starts smoking when I try to use it?? (and that is in the English language)

Je ne vais pas m’arreter!!

This brings me to a quote on a crinkled piece of paper. I trained with some amazing people for my first Ironman in 2006; they were the bestest of friends any one could hope for. Phil printed out this quote called “Man in the Arena” by Theodore Roosevelt and shared it with us before the race. Appropriate don’t you think?

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

Fun in the Sun

Oh man…long time no post…last thing we knew is that I couldn’t swim (I still can’t!). But, I have been up to my ears in fun and relaxing! I just returned from a week in Miami Beach. Oh, I know, poor, poor me…how could I ever deal with such a “vacation” when I am supposed to be “training”. Piss on that!

No, my week in Miami had NO bike rides, NO masters swims; only a daily run in the sun, which I walked at parts to take in the view and learned that diet sprite is a great refreshment mid-run!
The rest of the time was spent:

#1 working (just because I travel does not mean my job stops)

#2 sun tanning

#3 drinking mojito’s (like GIANT sized mojitos that make you feel oooohhh so good!)

#4 Eating fresh fish

#5 Harassing the paparazzi to find out who they are photographing (it was Kelly Ripa)

#6 SLEEPING!

And guess what?? I feel good! Like really good

But the fun always has to come to an end…time to catch up on work and get my butt back in gear. In less than two months, I have a monster ride to complete!

La Marmotte is the bike race on July 4th that I am registered for. After doing 6 ironman’s and many endurance events, this is the one that scares me the most. It is the same distance as a ironman bike-leg but will surely take me over 12 hrs to complete. When I watched it last year, I only saw a handful of women. When I rode only ONE of the mountains of the THREE mountain ascents that compose La Marmotte I almost died! I have always been one to push myself because I feel that the only limit you have is yourself (disclaimer: unless you are medically ill, impaired etc…should have a lawyer write this out…) So, I am going out on a limb and risking not finishing, but it won’t be because I didn’t try!. I can live with failure; I cannot live with not knowing because I didn’t try/was afraid.

So dream big folks!!