Cookie Monster!

I have a problem; I have a Ward cookie problem. There, I have said it! Isn’t this the first step of a 12 step program? Now, there is nothing wrong with eating cookies, especially when you work out a lot and need the energy. There is a problem when you are allergic to half the stuff in the cookie, have an hour time frame before eating the cookie and hitting the toilet, yet you go back for more every week…sometimes twice a week! (a classic sign of addiction, I plan my rides so that Ward is the last stop and I am finished within an hour to endure the consequences!) And trust me, these cookies are not easy to get to (unless you drive); 16 miles of climbing with one hell-mile at the end.

I swear they lace the cookies at Ward with a meth/cocaine/ecstasy mix….

So, today I had “F*&king cookies” running through my head as I climbed to Ward. Why was I cursing? Why was I not enjoying my ride? I was beat down tired! Yet I would not turn around because I have an addiction…damn cookies are going to kill me!!

Oh, and my husband has the same addiction yet hides it cleverly. He always tells me “don’t bring me down a cookie” and because I never know when I will be back up the mountain next I stock up (like 2-3 of the suckers) and low and behold they disappear!! So, I have had to hide my cookie stash!! How sad is that? My husband is a closet cookie junkie!

Alright, enough with the cookie talk. Today marked my last long ride before heading to France. I had to mix up my schedule a bit since I will be “in transition” for a week and ended up piling 2 weeks’ worth of “long workouts” into 8 days. So, needless to say my body is a little “pooped”; but I have 3 days until recovery week, so I will survive! I am a very lucky lady though; I have some great friends who sometimes “jump onto” my long ride in shifts.

Since Oceanside, I train mostly by myself because I had a lot of work to do to re-establish my HR zones. But, once and a while as schedules allow, I have the opportunity to do my long rides with some pretty amazing people! Today was one of them, and trust me, I needed the company to survive it!

Today started out with a solo warm-up early in the morning and then meeting up with Megan, Lara Jon and the hubby (yes, he was up early riding!). Lara is a BEAST…think ex-pro cyclist who can spin +100 RPM’s! I was getting dizzy watching her go. We headed out for some time on the flats before picking Kendra up at Amante (we lost the men before the climb). Kendra is a “Doctor in Training” (residency) and had just gotten off an all-night shift ready to roll! She is amazing, and the stories she shares are a lot of fun! How she does it bewilders me, but I know that I want her to be my doctor when she is finished!

I could tell as we headed into the hills that this would not be pretty. I simply was not recovered and my legs/HR was telling me so. I hung on till the turnoff to Ward from Left Hand Canyon and then was sucking wind until the turn to go over the backside of Lee Hill. Then always-smiling Laura says in a cheery voice “Ok gals, I am done, I might bonk!” and heads over the backside of Lee Hill (aka mother of all climbs!! Suicide if you are tired). That did my in! I was torn between awe of this woman who was about to bonk and was going to do a suicide climb, my sky-high HR and red spots in the eyes, my legs wanting to fall off, doubt in my mind and tears in my eyes when Megan told me to stop. So, I stopped wobbly legs and all.

Megan serves as the “head/brains/smarts” I lose when I do long rides. I learn something new and beneficial from her every time I ride with her. Today the lesson was “It’s ok to stop and rest.” Between the tears and fatigue this is what transpired:

Me: “I am so tired! I don’t know if this is smart for me to keep going”

Megan:” Let your HR come down, eat and drink, relax”

Me:”It’s just a lot this week”

Megan: “How’s your HR?”

Me:”Coming down”

Megan:”Well, test it out, see if it spikes again and if it does, go back. What time did you think you would be finished the ride at?”

Me:” By 12:30-1 but it doesn’t matter really”

Megan:” Fine, relax, take your time, you are not on a schedule, just think you have all day to do this climb”

Me:”ok”

So we started up again and I found my happy place and using the experience as mental trial for what awaits me in the French Alpe’s on July 4th (3 mountain passes in one day, over 15000 ft of climbing) till mile 10 of the climb and Megan had to turn back. She left me with her last piece of turkey jerky and some words that would not leave my mind till the end of the climb. She said “It’s not easy, but you are Ironwoman!” With that came clarification; I do this so that I can learn something new about myself and dig to the next level of strength/perseverance that I never knew I had. I discover strength in myself every time I do something I didn’t think I could.

So, I kept climbing and at the beginning of the final hell-mile to Ward, I caught Kendra (Kendra kept going after our first stop) and yet again did I gain perspective. Here is a woman who is mentally exhausted, saves and loses lived on a daily basis, and uses rides like this/swims/runs to help her gain the strength and perspective to get through her residency! So, I guess what I am getting to is that everyone has a way to reach their goals, and overcome their doubts, but it isn’t without blood/sweat/tears. Success as well as failure (which you learn from, hopefully!) comes from hard work, and it isn’t always an easy ride (no pun intended!).

I made that final mile to Ward and it was hard, it was oh sooo hard….but I didn’t stop; that is the last memory of riding in the mountains of Boulder that I will have until August 14th and it is more than enough….. along with those cookies I got at the top.

Happy Riding!