Chapter 5: God Is That You??

Galibier is a very decieving climb...it is relatively "easy" until the final 8 km. Those of you who have read my previous blog entries have heard me refer to the last 8 km as the "WOW" of the climb. These final 8 km are what breaks you, mentally, physically and emotionally.

Leaving Valloire I knew that there would be no room for self-doubts or weakness, I would take the "monster" head on. During the climb to Telegraph, I was riding with a few Spaniards and through jumbled English and Spanish, we all agreed to call Galibier the "MONSTER" Low and behold, through my two pit stops and their stops, I ended up tailing the same Spanish men during the Galibier climb; I guess you could say I "latched on" and I think they were happy to have someone with them who would still try and talk and smile (although it was getting few and far between).

During the "easy" part of the climb (that sounds SO wrong) I watched the storm brewing, hoping, and praying that it was not really in our direct path. Sometimes the storms/clouds can be decieving and actually be over another mountain. Unfortunately, the farther I climbed the more sure I was that we were headed directly into a storm. Knowing that it would most likely get nasty, I reached back to make sure I hadn't lost my wind jacket and gloves; I also started loading up on nutrition as we were going to start the sharp 8 km ascent to the top and in between the effort and altitude it is hard to keep things down. It was already a struggle to keep my Carbo Pro and gels down...hmmm, not a good sign.

It was like I was in the tour....we were approaching the dreaded 180 degree turn which marks the " WOW" portion and you can see the first 2 km of the hellish climb that awaits you..although this time around it is a lot more apparant with the line of cyclists egding up the cliff. Mr. Spanish #1 looked back at me and grinned, you can tell he was a regular of this sort of climbing; his friend, Mr Spanish #2 was doing just about as good as me and we both looked at each other and grimaced. Like Lance, Mr Spanish #1 took off...for the time being....

Mr Spanish #2 and I took the turn with care and ease as we both knew this would be the last chance of any sort of rest or "catching our breath" before the top. And so up we went...and as if it was part of a script, we headed up at 9% incline looking directly into black thunderclouds (honestly, we were the height of the clouds, it was out of this world!) and this HUGE CLAP OF THUNDER rumbled...the road shook and I just about crapped my pants. The wind was whipping in our faces and all I could question is "GOD, is that you? because I am sooo scared, but in such awe of what is going on around me" The experience was surreal! Every corner we turned and went up, the closer we got to the black clouds and the thunder would shake us and the roads...I was waiting for the downpour...or the strike of lightening to hit my aluminum frame.

km 8 passed, then km 7...then km 6 and all we got was extreme wind, a few pellets of rain and ground shaking thunder. But just like an Oasis in a dessert, as you weave your way around the first side of the mountain onto the back side you see the break in the clouds and that it is sunny on the other side of Galibier. Sooo..if I make it over the top, there will be a little reprieve. And just as I had that thought, a huge gust of wind passed by and almost knocked me off my bike and all I could think was: "I know GOD, I should not count my chickens before they hatch, but could you please cut me some slack?? I am tired, I have bad gas, my belly hurts, I don't want any more gels, it is my ANNIVERSARY ! and I know I do stupid things like these bike rides and Ironmans, but please, please, can we get through this without any life altering events, trips to the ER or drama??....I promise not to ask you for anything like this until Ironman Wisconsin..promise!!"...well, God must have been listening because although the wind, thunder and crap your pants ligthening continued, the skies did not open up on me.

I continued trudging up Galibier at a snails pace with Mr Spanish #2, both of us in our own worlds, pushing our bikes pedal stroke by pedal stroke. I must admit, and I try not to do this, but I took other people's weakness as my strength. When my feet were killing me and I was ready to stop, I looked at those lying on the side of the road, stopped, streching cramps and downright done; I told myself "c'mon, you are not at that point yet, you can do this..don't stop, don't stop!" And at that moment I looked up and Mr Spanish#2 must have done so as well, because there was his buddy dying a long slow death after his first surge up the climb. So we caught up to Mr Spanish #1 and would not let him drop. Little was said at this point because it was just too hard to speak and pedal.

These final km to the summit were not too interesting..it was sooo quiet, just breathing and wind....

Then at 2 km to go, you have a clear view of the top, and although I had seen it before all I could think was "HOLY S*&T" that is a lot of vertical distance to cover in 2 km...but, I knew that I could not stop, give up or give it any less than I had because that is not me; this was a real self-discovery part of the ride for me. Over the past year I have been struggling with a lot of self-trust issues and "fear" due to many events that have happened during my racing and training. Today, I was brought back to the roots of why I do these events, because it is not always about how fast you are or what expensive bike/equipment you own, it is what gets you from point A to B when you stip everything away, when it is just you, your heart and your desire....an MY desire was HUGE today.

So going into those 2 km I focused on every minute, every pedal stroke, every breath...and every bit CLOSER I was to the summit. At one km left to go Mr Spanish #2 pulled ahead and I kept focus on his wheel, but he was going faster, so I let him go. But before doing so, he looked back at me; not Lance style, but an empathetic look and he spoke somthing I did not understand in Spanish, but I am sure it was along the lines of "keep going, you will make it"

And with that I was on my own (I never saw Mr Spanish again)...with the snow piles edging by me as I plugged along. I looked down when I was 500 meters from the top and I was in absolute awe. All you could see for miles down the mountain was a stream of cyclists riding into a raging thunderstorm. Then it was 400 meters, 300 meters, 200 meters...100 meters...then the BEEP of the chip crossing the timing mat. I have made it to the summit of Galibier.

All I could do was pull over, wheezing and fighting back the "sick" that was creeping up the back of my throat. It was then that I realized that this was just more than a bike ride, this was epic in all proportions, this was the Ironman of the cycling world.

And now, I had to keep my shit together for an hour of descending....and that is when I asked God again "Please keep me safe today"....