Bonjour From Dieppe

Bonjour from Dieppe. Gregory has a work appointment this morning and we are going to do some sight-seeing afterwards. It’s amazing to believe that my own Pop fought here during the war. It really puts things in perspective.

Since I have fallen a bit behind on my posts of late, I figured I would take another moment to share how things are going in general and in France. I am doing this from the car; while Gregory is inside an office talking to some potential clients, I am waiting in the car. It is bad business practice to bring your wife/employee to a meeting full of French people when she does not speak French very well other than in the boulangerie. So, I am left to my own device with a bottle of water, a couple of croissants, a computer and the window cracked open a bit. If Gregory takes too long, he might have to call in some re-enforcements to feed me, LOL.

Yesterday I realized that I may have come across a little “harsh “with the running comments and given the impression that I put my running/exercise above my babies health. If that were the case, I would be drinking wine AND running (both at the same time). To make it clear, I would never, ever do anything that I knew would jeopardize our girls health, hence why I check with my doctor and have my own set of guidelines for “exercise.” Truth be told, I am slowing down, yes, that is right, I am seeing the end in sight of my “running ”days. The funny thing is it has not been gradual; it seems like it happened overnight. One day I was fine running to the park and around the pond, then 2 days later (contrary to what it sounds like, I only run every other day at most) I felt like I was going to keel over; that was a “walking day”. I like to say that I am going out to “run” but realistically, it is usually 70% walk, 30% jog/shuffle. The 100% walking is near, and I AM ok with that. Now that just leaves me with swimming….no comment.

The thing that does not cease to amaze me is how quickly things are happening now. For 25 weeks I waited and waited for my belly to grow, for my little “pot belly” to resemble the “bump” rather than “too many turkey buns.” But our little girl took her time, until she got the notice that she is supposed to grow and grow she did. In the past 2.5 weeks, my “frowning” belly button has started to smile and even pop out. My skin is stretching, including my belly tattoo…oh man, that is going to be hilarious at 9 months! I am obviously pregnant now! Going up stairs for me is like a death march; Gregory has to push/pull my “large” self up every subway stop and by the time we get to the top I sound as if I smoked 3 packs of cigarettes and was headed for my death bed. I left Boulder wearing a “B-cup” bra and arrived in Paris needing a “C-cup.” And no folks, it was not the induced swelling from the long flight, because it has not gone away and continues to grow. Not that I am complaining about that! Can I keep them when all of this is said and done?

Speaking of said and done, eventually this baby will have to come out…and let’s just say that that is one scary thought; especially realizing how big our baby is getting! One of my good friends just had a baby a week and a half ago and what a little charm he is! But, let me tell you while sparing details that it was one hell of a delivery that gives me nightmares. I have already have a plan of action for my delivery…one word: epidural; perhaps a few shots of gin before that to calm the nerves (they said no food, but nothing about drink). All kidding aside, I will not try to be a hero through the process and WILL have an epidural (if that is an option) for several reasons, first, why put myself through the pain when I don’t have to? Second, why put my husband through that? I want to continue our amazing marriage with intimacy; how on earth couples manage to get that back after such a process is beyond me. I am sure we will learn (people have been doing it for centuries) and figure that part out, but I have already given Gregory the option to leave the room should he choose.

Also, I am not one of those “zen” people who even consider the natural birth with bathtubs, incense, chirping birds music, bouncy balls and all that other “feel-good” stuff. I am a scientist at heart and scientists are process related; A + B = C; we don’ t do “calm”. Perhaps it is my type A personality? I know the process won’t be fun, but I am taking the approach of grin and bear it and hope for it to be over sooner than later, kind of like Ironman. I will walk this kid out till I can’t bear it anymore, then ask for drugs, watch a few Ironman Hawaii re-runs and then pop the kid out. If they go C-section, that might be even better because it only takes an hour! May sound kind of cold and un-emotional, but I don’t really want to “embrace” such an experience, I would rather save that energy for our girl after the fact.

I am also learning that naivety is bliss; when you are given too many options/information, things become awfully confusing and complicated fast! I made it through 2 pregnancy books before I decided to throw in the towel and only glimpse at them time to time if I have questions. Turns out that if you read those books, your baby will have every disease and problem known to mankind and the birthing process will take 24 hours and it might get nasty and….you get the picture. So, for that reason I am not doing any “classes” or reading anymore books unless I have a specific need to do so. Let’s face it, we all experience some sort of discomfort in our lives and reading a book about it doesn’t always help nor does it always apply. I would rather spend my time worrying about what sort of sushi and martini I am going to order after delivery rather than taking a class/reading on “breathing/delivery” techniques when I may need a c-section. Like I said folks, naivety is bliss…at least for me. Plus I don’t think Gregory could tolerate me obsessing about such things….I am already as crazy and pregnant as he can handle!

Oh yeah, and since I am still in this car and going crazy, well, I am crazy…ok…let’s talk about crazy. Pregnancy MAKES YOU CRAZY!! Talk about out of control! I cried yesterday because I did not get my croissant, I cry when I can’t take a crap..heck, I cry about almost anything these days. And the fun part is it is totally unpredictable. One minute I could be laughing and joking with Gregory and then he says something totally neutral and I burst out in tears. There are also situations where you know it might be difficult and you prepare yourself, but there is no stopping it. We knew our first flight to Paris would most likely be cancelled and I was ready for that. But, when it actually was do you think I could act rationally like I had told myself I would? No, of course not! It was like being on a highway and totally knowing which exit you need to take but then you keep driving past it. Yes, the tears were flowing that day too. Thankfully I have a very patient husband who tries to understand. Heck, even I understood; between sobs and tears were bursts of laughter of the absurdity of it all. Yes folks, I was crazy to begin with, but even crazier now. I think I might have to lock myself up somewhere until this kid is delivered.

And now…I just had a lapse of thought….see this happens when you are pregnant. One minute you have something great to write/say and poof! The next minute it is gone. I am sure it was a good one…maybe it will revisit me in the future. But, for the time being I think I am done and am ready to eat again…

I know most of you are waiting for pictures which I am needing to put in a photo album and hope to get around to it soon or when we get home.

Alright, over and out from a car parked in Dieppe!