Swimming, Grandma's and Frivolous Husband

I know you are all dying to know how my swim went….since it is such an exciting achievement in my life. Yes, I know, a little overdramatic, right? Well no, if you actually knew how much I hated swimming, you would understand. So, swimming is a test of my resolve.

I endured…. 3 times last week! No, I am not crazy, and no, it is not the hormones. It basically comes down to the “guilt” I feel. Wolfgang keeps asking me when I am coming swimming…and well, I am out of excuses. I also need to owe up to myself that if I ever want to do another triathlon, I just can’t get back into the pool and start off where I left….oh hell no…every day out of the pool sinks me deeper into that pile of mud I feel when trying to swim.

Monday last week I went swimming for the first time with Gregory in 6 months. He said I did “ok” but he has to say that and be nice because I am pregnant and it is his fault. I know it was not ok because I spent 45 minutes in the water and I know how far (aka not far) I went. It was so bad; I am not telling you any more..and yeah, I want to punch every person who invites me to masters, tells me their splits, times and distances because to be honest, I am pregnant so I don’t give a rats a$$ about it anymore. I am getting “big” (not allowed to use the “fat” word) and I will not even allow myself to go to the “I used to, could have, should have” realm of things. I am learning many things while being pregnant, including how to “let it go”...that’s for another post.

However, for some reason, I could not “let it go” when it came to the swimming. I saw it as an “opportunity”. How many women, in their 25th week of pregnancy have the opportunity to “improve” at swimming? You see, I planned this…I knew it would be bad, but at least it can’t get any worse!! Trust me; I will swim faster than I did on Monday at 9 months, even carrying 80 extra lbs around let alone 18!

So, I returned to the pool on Wednesday and then Friday….and, it did not get worse! I am still not saying how far I got in 45 minutes, but It is improving. I also attribute my “slowness” to my “not so streamlined” suit. I am wearing a sports bra and an old stretched out suit that sags like you would not believe. When I get out of the pool I have to make sure the butt does not drop down to give anyone a show and the “granny butt” wrinkles does not drip so much it looks like I am peeing myself. That must be why I am slow!

Speaking of Granny’s…(and I probably should not use this terminology because both Joelle and my mom read this blog, but I will anyways because I am pregnant and hormonal and I can…so no offense soon to be grandma’s mom and Joelle) but, what is with the staring! I don’t stare at these ladies when they are straddling their noodles in the kiddy pool doing their exercises (well, maybe a little, but just because I thought it might be cooler than swimming) but they seem to have all eyes on me in the change room. Just imagine, taking a shower that is invaded by about 20 grandmas with all eyes on you and your naked swollen belly. Nobody says anything! They just stare and some of them are brave enough to smile. I mean “what the heck! Yes, I am pregnant! I also have not taken a crap in 2 days, I have gas and I will cry at the drop of a button! These ladies have been through it! They should know…but, why are they staring!!??” Just as I am about to “lose it” exiting the shower and drying up…one of the grandmas says something that breaks the ice/distracts me from the meltdown I felt coming on: “I like your towel”….ummm yeah…ok, thanks…remind me never to go swim at 9 am anymore.

So, as you can tell, I am on a roll now….perhaps due to the fact that I am tired, only sleeping in 2-4 hr increments. Now I know that this happens when our little girl arrives, but I had no idea that it would get this bad during the pregnancy. Our little muchkin LOVES to boogy in my belly. The only time she is quiet is when I am running or moving; the rest of the time it is like a little drummer. Over the past 3 weeks she has grown quite a bit and so has her kicks. Gregory barely had his hand on my belly the other day and our girl gave it a good whack and he was a bit surprised!

She takes after me from the fact that I don’t like to sit still, yet, she still has not gotten the concept that I sleep at night..and so should she. At the moment, I am sleeping in the living room because it got so bad with me waking up at night and keeping Gregory awake (he wakes up every time I pee, eat, walk around etc..). At night, when I crawl into bed, as if it were a cue, she starts kicking and punching, throwing a fit and that continues for a good 30-40 minutes; then I fall asleep, then I get woken up 2-4 hrs later with the same commotion. I have learned that if I get up, walk around a bit, eat a bit and then go back to bed, she settles down. This continues until 6 am, when I am usually up for good….then she sleeps.

The funny thing is I don’t get tired of it; call it a mother’s love, insanity, I don’t care. Each one of those kicks is a reassurance that my baby girl is ok and active. I could not ask for more!

Last Tuesday we had a bit of a scare when she decided to stop moving for an entire night! When I did not wake up to the regular “thump, thump, and thump” nor did she stir in the morning, I got panicked. The doctors were great (again!) and pushed ahead my appointment from Thursday to Tuesday to check up on everything. Turns out she was snuggled up against my placenta (which is in the “front” and means at times I will not feel our girl) and was “resting”. As if on cue and hour after leaving the doctors, she was back to break-dancing in my belly. Kids are unpredictable; this one is going to give me an ulcer before she is born! Good news is that I measure perfectly and had all paperwork/clearance to fly to France…….

Yeah, we were supposed to leave yesterday. But, due to the volcano and ash we were delayed until Friday to fly to Paris. I am hoping everything clears up and we can go…otherwise, there might be a pregnant lady breakdown if she does not get her almond croissant (again!). This post is getting long and I am sure I can write another one describing our “adventures” with the airline companies over the past weekend and how I am irrational and quite hilarious to watch meltdown according to Gregory.

Speaking of Gregory; my wonderful husband with whom I had a discussion last night about how expensive a baby is, our plans not to spend too much on the unnecessary things, that a cheap crib is not such a bad thing since our girl will never remember it, and how we were going to stay “grounded” through this financially even though it is our first kid. Well, today we went to a schwanky/holistic/natural birth/make me want to puke maternity store (don’t get me started on all this natural birth stuff, and nothing against those who do it/want it; it’s just not for me…I want drugs, I don’t care how the baby gets out, as long as it gets out and I get drugs….yet again another post to elaborate on) to get me a “support belt” for my running. We left with a maternity “belt” and a “music belt” which Gregory found.

You see, Gregory has had this obsession of playing ACDC “Highway to Hell” to our girl since the first day we found out I was pregnant; I can see how this got him very excited. The bill was $90…$25 of which was for my “support belt;” you do the math. We have a “music belt” but no crib….but at least our girl listened to ACDC this afternoon. And for once, she was still. If the darn belt did not have an hour time limit, I would strap it on and let it play all night long….

Gregory does not think that the “music belt” was an unnecessary purchase. He thinks our girl “won’t remember her crib, but she will remember the lyrics to ACDC Highway to Hell”