Gregory is looking for a tranquilizer

Back in January, Gregory and I somehow found ourselves reading our “yearly” horoscope. The short of the long was we were going to have a “challenging” first ½ of the year and then things were going to be great!! Well, I must say that these first 6 months have not been the easiest and Gregory and I have been “tested” in more ways than one. We are counting down to Thursday, July 1st when things are supposed to “roll over” and the skies will part and rain skittles.


All of this being said, Gregory and I always try to look on the positive side of things and bring out the best in any situation. There are always people worse off and really, you need to be thankful for what you have. You may have noticed that many of my posts are laced with humor, and of course laughter is the best medicine. So, I am going to do my best with this post…although it might come across a bit cynical. Truth be told, life happens, it is not always good, but we always manage to survive and move forward.


That is until you bring in the words “full bed rest” and combine them with “Chewy”


Yes folks, that is right… full bed rest, for me…and the funny thing was I was not the first to break down in this situation, I think Gregory cried first!


I like to think I am a pretty strong woman. I didn’t cry when I found out that it would be impossible for me to obtain a Greencard within the next 2 years (although Gregory and I were lead to believe it was possible last year when we were contemplating where to deliver Emma) and that we may face the decision of relocation within a year to remain “legal” and I do not get deported. I didn’t cry when I started having contractions on Monday 6 & ½ weeks early and ended up in the ER where they shot me up 3 times on with some God awful medicine to stop the contractions and some antibiotic horse pills to cure my first infection, nor when I spent the next 4 hours puking my brains out only to find myself back in the hospital with more contractions. I didn’t cry when I found out my back was hurting not only due to contractions but due to an additional kidney infection started by a UTI and they had to shoot me up with more medicine through an IV. I didn’t cry when I was discharged and sent home only to receive a message the next morning that my grandpa had passed away. I didn’t cry that I couldn’t make it home for the funeral due to my health. I also didn’t cry when the contractions started again on Friday and kept me up all night. I didn’t cry when we were back in the hospital Saturday afternoon getting another shot to kill the contractions….but then the doctor said “we have to take you from restricted activity to full bed rest” I cried…


And then I laughed..Because I looked at my loving husband, who was absolutely drained from such a week and saw the sheer terror in his eyes when he realized he would have a restrained Chewy on his hands. I kid you not; he asked the nurse if she could keep me in the hospital and tranquilize me. Unfortunately for Gregory, they did not agree.


So, I am writing this post from home, in the “supine” position while Gregory is out purchasing restraints and scheming how he will lace my water with ambien so that I don’t drive him crazy.


You see, I can handle “slowing down for while”…heck, I can tolerate transatlantic flights, so it can’t be that bad. But you put a pregnant, nesting, type A personality woman in her house and tell her to stay in bed….you spell trouble. It’s like putting a Rottweiler in a cage and taunting it. In this case, Gregory is the dog trainer…this is not going to be pretty.


We had our first “altercation” this morning when he wouldn’t let me get up to put the laundry in the laundry machine. I threw a tantrum like a 2 year old…hence, why Gregory is out buying restraints and duct tape.


Come Friday, I am not so worried of what state of mind or frenzy I will be in, I am more worried on if Gregory will strangle me or not.


So, my follow-up appointment is on Friday with the doctors, which is July 2nd. YES, that is JULY!! Which means that the sh&tty first ½ of the year will be over! I am assuming at that time, they will allow to me start running again; at least 5 miles a day and perhaps let me have a roll of sushi…oh yeah and maybe a gin martini, because those are great for babies too! LOL…oh, and it will be raining skittles.


All sarcasm aside, Friday WILL be a good day, because although I may not be allowed off of bed-rest and my husband may be filing for divorce, my little Emma will be 35 weeks along, which is a heck of a lot better than 33 ½, 34, or anything under 35! 35 is the magic number; actually 37 is, but for me when you have experienced a week like this 35 weeks is the stage where you know that if you baby arrives early, they may need a bit of extra care and attention, but they will be ok.


Speaking of Emma; I may have not met her yet, but I have come to the conclusion that she is a little “overachiever” (hmmm..I wonder who she get’s that from?? Couldn’t be her mom or dad??) and that she is a little monster. I say that in the most kind, loving, caring way I possibly could. I LOVE this kid and she is such a blessing, but she really has an outrageously entertaining personality. Throughout this whole ordeal, guess whose heart rate did not change, kept boogying in my belly and poking around and made a game of trying to kick the monitors off my belly? Yup, Emma is doing just fine. The only time she behaves is when her dad talks to her; she is going to be “daddy’s little girl”…I REALLY cannot wait to meet her! …well, maybe 2 more weeks please! But by then, she probably will have decided she really likes my belly and will over-extend her stay to 42 weeks at which point in time they will induce me..you just wait! It probably will happen.


Gregory is home now….if you don’t hear from me this week, that means that Gregory has buried me alive….